Bon's Mots

Over brunch with some girl­friends to­day, the con­ver­sa­tion turned to on­line dat­ing, as it so fre­quently does when you get a bunch of sin­gle girls to­gether. We all have pro­files on a cer­tain dat­ing site and shared our dat­ing hor­ror sto­ries. It re­minded me of a re­cent ex­change I had with some­one on the site. It’s so au­da­ciously head-shaking funny that I had to share it. It also shows why I’m okay with re­main­ing sin­gle for the rest of my life, if this is any in­di­ca­tion of what is out there.

I later dis­cov­ered that this guy sent the ex­act same email to three other girl­friends of mine on the same site. A les­son to men: don’t use cookie-cutter tac­tics when ap­proach­ing women, ei­ther in per­son or on­line. We do talk to each other.

HandsomeStrongM

Hi, how’s it go­ing with you? I just thor­oughly read your pro­file and will say that you look at­trac­tive, so I thought that I shall type a good message…I see you come off as fem­i­nine, look con­fi­dent, you look like you have a strong per­son­al­ity, am­bi­tion and you seem to have a good vibe about you by read­ing your long, well taught out pro­file. It speaks vol­umes about who you are with your thor­ough ex­pla­na­tion about your­self. I am open to be­ing in a long-term re­la­tion­ship, so it would be nice to talk one on one and see what’s on your mind!

Since I am new on­line, go easy on me! I have no pic­ture on­line now, since I just re­ally started us­ing the in­ter­net more so now then I did be­fore and I am here try­ing to get ac­cus­tomed to all the tabs/features on this site ~ my every­day life/work doesn’t re­quire the use for com­put­ers. Anyhow, I am very con­fi­dent with how I carry my­self, how I look and I am com­pli­mented as cute and good-looking. I be­lieve phys­i­cal at­trac­tion is pretty im­por­tant and al­though phys­i­cal beauty/attractiveness is sub­jec­tive, I am a pretty good-looking man (not to sound con­ceited). Here is my phys­i­cal de­scrip­tion; I’m 5’11″, have nice brown eyes, full lips, I’m phys­i­cally fit at 180lbs and dress well. I DON’T THINK it is right to lie about my­self as I dis­like lies and non­sense. I heard about the embarrassing/off-the-wall/bullsh-t dates and I AM SURE I will never bring that to any girl! I am also HONEST, trust­wor­thy, strong, con­fi­dent, in­de­pen­dent (liv­ing on my own), pas­sion­ate, in­tel­li­gent, ma­ture, pa­tient, funny, SANE, kind, car­ing, sta­ble, ro­man­tic, gen­tle­manly, suc­cess­ful in my work life and much more…It be nice to get to know you more!

Now that was a lot to type! If I caught your in­ter­est, you can add me to msn…

Antandre [me]

Thanks for your email! The lack of photo does cause me con­cern, but eh — I’ll get over it.

If your life/work doesn’t re­quire the use of com­put­ers, don’t you find join­ing an *on­line* dat­ing site a tad ironic?

HandsomeStrongM

I get that you’re cu­ri­ous to see my pic­ture, which I don’t have cur­rently since I am new to on­line dat­ing and I don’t re­ally use com­put­ers as it is NOT re­quired in my line of work and every­day use! Here’s an easy list to read to give you some in­sight about how I look!

- Told by a lot of women that I’m cute and good-looking.
 – I’m 5’11″, 180lbs, phys­i­cally fit, I have nice brown eyes, full lips and clear, olive toned skin.
 – Complimented usu­ally on my eyes, then my smile, lips and hands.
 – 30 years old, but look about 25.
 – Hygienic, clean cut and al­ways groom my­self.
 – Have a clean, at­trac­tive body.
 – Dress nicely, al­ways smell good, have an as­sertive way of car­ry­ing my­self.
 – I have a strong sense of self-worth in the looks de­part­ment.
 – Although looks are sub­jec­tive, I can con­fi­dently say I am a good-looking man.
 – Not try­ing to con­vince you here to meet me…just be­ing HONEST!
 – When I type/say some­thing, I MEAN WHAT I SAY! I only am STRAIGHT-FORWARD!!

Although I don’t have a pic­ture, I am very sure that I am worth all your time!

I am more of a se­ri­ous per­son seek­ing some­thing long-term.

I am NOT delu­sional, creepy, fake, ab­nor­mal or mo­ronic. I have a very strong per­son­al­ity and I can only be HONEST as I can.

I usu­ally meet women at bars/venues as I think they can be rea­son­ably good places to meet some­one spe­cial, as I know some peo­ple that met their bet­ter halves at bars/venues. I am not one to waste time and put time into some­thing that is not right, nor am I here to play games…I am se­ri­ous about meet­ing some­one for a long-term re­la­tion­ship. I am not a crazy, clingy, weird per­son either…I am to­tally nor­mal and seek­ing mu­tu­ally sat­is­fy­ing physical/mental at­trac­tion. Anyhow, I’m cu­ri­ous to know what’s your rea­son log­ging on here, what would you like to find and what at­tracts you to a man?? How about we talk on the phone in­stead? Instead of sense­less on­line typ­ing that goes in cir­cles. I am will­ing to share my num­ber if you are will­ing to share yours!

Antandre

Not a phone per­son — why don’t we just meet for a cof­fee or a drink? By the time it takes us to fin­ish it, we’ll know whether there is a con­nec­tion. I have some free time next week.

HandsomeStrongM

You make it more dif­fi­cult like that to make a con­nec­tion, thats all I can say.

Antandre

What? A face-to-face meet­ing is more dif­fi­cult? I’d rather do that than spend weeks email­ing and IMing back and forth. I have a busy life and don’t have time to spend on the com­puter; in fact, I’m on­line most of the day, so af­ter work, I try to stay away from it as much as possible.

It’s been my ex­pe­ri­ence that you get to know some­one re­ally well by talk­ing to them in person.

HandsomeStrongM

What draws me to a woman is looks, strength of mind, con­fi­dence, loy­alty, a woman of qual­ity, sta­bil­ity of mind, in­tel­li­gence, fem­i­nin­ity, straight-forwardness, val­ues, hon­esty, some­one who loves what she does, drive about life in gen­eral, a sense of hu­mour, some­one who is la­dy­like and likes a man to be a man. I like a woman I can be with and talk with. I be­lieve it is good to be sin­cere and up­front about what I am look­ing for, as I am a more se­ri­ous can­di­date on this site then other guys.

I am seek­ing some­one I can spend qual­ity time with, some­one to talk with every­day so I can fo­cus on and build a life with. When I have a girl­friend, I like to spend a lot of time with her. I be­lieve pas­sion, grow­ing strong to­gether and be­com­ing stronger as a cou­ple is what makes a re­la­tion­ship hot and leads to be­ing happy with each other! I be­lieve in good chem­istry, phys­i­cal at­trac­tion, com­pas­sion, monogamy, car­ing for each other, amaz­ing in­ti­macy, af­fec­tion, com­mon in­ter­ests, hon­esty, affin­ity and trust are qual­i­ties that make us de­sire one an­other. Growing a strong bond with each other is important…I like to find some­thing genuine!

In all hon­esty, I think typ­ing back and forth can be stren­u­ous and also very time con­sum­ing. I am an ab­solutely nor­mal, con­fi­dent man who is just look­ing to meet some­one that I click with men­tally and phys­i­cally, noth­ing more and noth­ing less. I sug­gest we talk on the phone and get things rolling in that man­ner, wha­daya say?

Antandre

Okay, I get it — you want an at­trac­tive, con­fi­dent, loyal, sta­ble, sane, in­tel­li­gent, fem­i­nine, straight-forward, hon­est, funny woman with val­ues. Kind of re­dun­dant, don’t you think? I wouldn’t as­sume you’re look­ing for an ugly, in­sane, in­se­cure, stu­pid, man­ish, ly­ing bitch.

I’m not ly­ing when I say I don’t like talk­ing on the phone. I’m on it all day. I don’t know why we just don’t meet and get it over with.

HandsomeStrongM

Have you ever tried on­line dat­ing and met peo­ple through this be­fore? I tried the night ex­change and lava life phone per­son­als and found suc­cess on there with some at­trac­tive look­ing and de­cent ladies. It all comes down to find­ing some­one phys­i­cally at­trac­tive with good qual­i­ties and avoid­ing peo­ple who are full of shi+. Everyone might have dif­fer­ent views on what’s at­trac­tive but I be­lieve it breaks down to phys­i­cal at­trac­tion, men­tal con­nec­tion, men­tal sta­bil­ity and over­all chem­istry. What would you like to find on this site?

HandsomeStrongM

You just wanna get it over with? Thats some­thing an ugly, in­sane, in­se­cure, stu­pid, man­ish, ly­ing bitch would want…I thought you were not like that.

Antandre

I’ve been on­line dat­ing for some time (not a fact I’m proud of, but what­ever) and it’s been my ex­pe­ri­ence that hours spent con­vers­ing with some­one on­line or on the phone are a waste of time. You meet them and they’re com­pletely dif­fer­ent than their phone/online personas.

While you may be at­trac­tive, I do need to see a pic­ture. Beauty is in the eye of the be­holder; you can de­scribe your­self to me all day long but like you wrote, “every­one might have dif­fer­ent views on what’s at­trac­tive.” I’ve been burned many times by agree­ing to meet peo­ple with­out a photo. Shallow? Perhaps a bit. But phys­i­cal at­trac­tion plays a huge role in over­all at­trac­tion. You know what I look like — it’s only fair I have an idea of what you look like. It’s not dif­fi­cult to up­load a photo.

Actually, an ugly, in­sane, in­se­cure, stu­pid, man­ish, ly­ing bitch would want to string you along as much as pos­si­ble with the hope that you’ll fall in love with her “per­son­al­ity”. I’m up­front — I use this as just an­other tool to meet peo­ple, along with friends, events, etc. It’s not “get­ting it over with” — there could be a con­nec­tion, and if there is, it’s some­thing I would like to ex­plore. So don’t make judg­ment calls about me just be­cause I ac­tu­ally want to meet in person.

Here’s the kicker — he copies and pastes THE SAME RESPONSE he gave me ear­lier! As if I have short-term mem­ory loss.

HandsomeStrongM

I get that you’re cu­ri­ous to see my pic­ture, which I don’t have cur­rently since I am new to on­line dat­ing and I don’t re­ally use com­put­ers as it is NOT re­quired in my line of work and every­day use! Here’s an easy list to read to give you some in­sight about how I look!

- Told by a lot of women that I’m cute and good-looking.
 – I’m 5’11″, 180lbs, phys­i­cally fit, I have nice brown eyes, full lips and clear, olive toned skin.
 – Complimented usu­ally on my eyes, then my smile, lips and hands.
 – 30 years old, but look about 25.
 – Hygienic, clean cut and al­ways groom my­self.
 – Have a clean, at­trac­tive body.
 – Dress nicely, al­ways smell good, have an as­sertive way of car­ry­ing my­self.
 – I have a strong sense of self-worth in the looks de­part­ment.
 – Although looks are sub­jec­tive, I can con­fi­dently say I am a good-looking man.
 – Not try­ing to con­vince you here to meet me…just be­ing HONEST!
 – When I type/say some­thing, I MEAN WHAT I SAY! I only am STRAIGHT-FORWARD!!

> Although I don’t have a pic­ture, I am very sure that I am worth all your time!

>I am more of a se­ri­ous per­son seek­ing some­thing long-term.

I am NOT delu­sional, creepy, fake, ab­nor­mal or mo­ronic. I have a very strong per­son­al­ity and I can only be HONEST as I can.

What at­tracts you to a man and what would you like to find?

Anyhow, if you like to talk one on one, my hotmail/MSN ad­dress is … or we can even ex­change phone num­bers and talk on the phone! Let me know…