A friend re­cently sent me an ar­ti­cle called “Why I’m Alone”. It is a re­sponse by Huffington Post colum­nist Lea Lane to the ques­tion she is of­ten asked in the years fol­low­ing the death of her hus­band: Why is she still alone? Why doesn’t she date much?

While I’ve never loved and lost like Ms. Lane, I can cer­tainly re­late to the ques­tion, “Why are you alone?” In my case, it’s rephrased as “Why are you single?”

“I guess I’m just lucky,” I smirk.

Like most smar­tass re­sponses, mine comes across as de­fen­sive, and I make no apolo­gies for it. I am a strong and con­fi­dent woman who owns her own condo, is mak­ing in­roads into a new ca­reer and has a stel­lar credit his­tory.  Yet all that I achieve and ac­com­plish tends to be over­shad­owed by my mar­i­tal status.

“Why are you single?”

I could say that I choose to be sin­gle but that would be a lie. Take our bi­o­log­i­cal dis­po­si­tion to mate and pro­cre­ate, add cen­turies of so­cial con­di­tion­ing and stir in the fear of grow­ing old alone. Is it any won­der that women get panic at­tacks when they’re not mar­ried by the time they’re 30?

I don’t choose to be sin­gle – I’ve just made my peace with it. If it re­ally both­ered me, I’d be more dili­gent in my pur­suit of the op­po­site sex (my re­cent at­tempt at speed-dating notwith­stand­ing, which is a sep­a­rate blog post al­to­gether). As it stands, I’m not in a par­tic­u­lar hurry to get hitched. Marriage is not a goal of mine. I just want to find some­one who I con­nect with, can tol­er­ate my need for alone time and rec­og­nizes the ge­nius of Tex Avery, Jon Stewart and Neil Gaiman. And I want to take my time find­ing him.

“Why are you single?”

My friend Catherine put it suc­cinctly: “I sin­cerely be­lieve that if I’m meant to meet some­one, I will. I’m not go­ing to moan about it if I don’t.” Amen, sister.

Until I meet my Mr. Right-For-Me, I’m en­joy­ing my life. Here are my rea­sons why I’m okay with be­ing sin­gle (with grat­i­tude to Ms. Lane).

· I’m never lonely – I have a wealth of friends who I can see more of­ten than I could if I was in a relationship.

· Dating pro­vides so much in­ter­est­ing ma­te­r­ial for anec­dotes and blog posts.

· On week­ends, I can wake up late or stay in bed all day.

· I don’t have to an­swer to some­one else.

· I can take off for the week­end on the spur of the moment.

· I have more time to spend with my family.

· I can watch any movie I want to, even if it’s a weepy chick flick.

· I look way younger than my years and I chalk that up to care­free living.

· I don’t have to cook.

· I don’t have to be dis­ap­pointed and hurt when a man no longer likes me.

· I have the bath­room all to myself.

· I flirt to my heart’s content.

· I love ex­pe­ri­enc­ing the thrill of meet­ing some­one new and imag­in­ing what they’re like in bed. I love know­ing that I can find out firsthand.

· I don’t have to date a man I’m not crazy about be­cause I’m “not get­ting any younger.”

· No pregnancy/STD scares.

· I don’t have to shave every day.

· No one is hog­ging the bed sheets but me.

· I can drink milk/juice straight from the carton.

· NO IN-LAWS.

· I have to­tal con­trol over the tele­vi­sion remote.

What are your reasons?

Posted via web from bonsmots’s pos­ter­ous