My friend Jen received this letter from a suitor on OKStupid. (Thanks for sharing!) It’s all I can do to keep the bile down. Is he looking for a date or does he want to rescue a princess?
Gentleman, no woman falls for this shit. Unless she has hundreds of stuffed animals on her bed, has read every Harlequin romance novel ever published and has been planning her wedding since she was five.
Oh heavenly blessed beauty, whose inner beauty is simply divine and everlasting, I would love to be your knight in shining armor. If you want to talk to a good friend, honest, sweet and tender, you can do with me at any moment, I am a good person, kind, loyal and sincere. My friendship that I offer you is clean and transparent. I congratulate to you, because you are very beautiful. your beauty, your charming figure, your pleasant and angelical smile, your personality, your happiness, your charm, your kindness, your beautiful eyes, your lips soft and exquisite, your delicate hands, your precious legs, spectacular and divine body, you have all these qualities and more. You are a wonderful and perfect woman, your gaze is tender and sweet, penetrating my soul. The beauty of a rose has no comparison with the sweetness of your face and the beauty of your heart. I am of the people, I like to have a good relationship with all my friends.