Archive of ‘Dating’ category

Calling All “Casanovas”

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Hey guys.

How’s it going? Good, good. Listen, there’s something I want to discuss with you. Apparently, some of you were planning to amass at a downtown mall in Toronto for something called a “$5 EATON CENTER APPROACH MARATHON”. The event has since been cancelled due to outrage and common sense – yay for human rights! Because really, events like this demean us all.

The event apparently involved “beasting” which is defined as “approaching [women] continuously and consistently – targeting every approachable set in the vicinity” [italics mine]. It was organized by a Meetup.com group that calls itself Toronto Pick Up Artists (PUAs). (There’s a hyphen missing from there, but bad grammar is the least of their problems.) A bunch of men were going to congregate in the Toronto Eaton Centre and basically harass women who just want to do their Christmas shopping. The Toronto PUAs Meetup.com page has disappeared (sad, because it was so stupid-funny to read) but Toronto Life documented some of the foolishness (albeit in a too-lighthearted way, IMHO, like these guys were some clumsy Pepe le Pews.) Behold:

Since there are so many women in the Eaton Centre you can easily warm up and get yourself into state within 20 minutes. Eaton Centre is therefore a great first stop on your day game iternary. [sic] Do a few approaches there and you can move to other venues which may have less women but better logistics (girls who are stationary).

Okay, guys, listen. This is bullshit. You don’t have to do this. I know that dealing with the opposite sex can be daunting. It happens to women, too, but on top of that add a dollop of insecurity and fears that stem from shit we get fed from lady mags, religion, laws, the entertainment industry—PRETTY MUCH EVERYWHERE. Slut-shaming,  “legitimate rape“, normal-sized models who are “plus size”, rape culture (oh, it exists I WILL DEBATE YOU FOR HOURS ON THIS DON’T GET ME STARTED), can’t wear pants because thighs rubbing

So, I get it. The fear of rejection, of being ridiculed, of feeling not attractive enough – we’ve all been there. For some, self-esteem and confidence comes with age and life experience. For others, it remains a constant struggle. Overcoming insecurity and developing confidence definitely helps with interpersonal relationships. But you don’t get it by joining PUAs or following assholes like this.

(more…)


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Email From a Guy: And/Or Edition

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This lovely email was sent to a friend of mine on OKStupid. As she put it: Can one be cute and magnificent at the same time? I say, yes, just like this email can be stupid and nauseating at the same time.

whats up baby,beautification is an understatement but the word pretty and cute are the best word to describe an angel like you,you are so cute and magnificent to the extent you got my breath away,it will be a great pleasure to have a chat with you if you dont mind? care for one pretty


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Email From A Guy: Disney Edition

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My friend Jen received this letter from a suitor on OKStupid. (Thanks for sharing!) It’s all I can do to keep the bile down. Is he looking for a date or does he want to rescue a princess?

Gentleman, no woman falls for this shit. Unless she has hundreds of stuffed animals on her bed, has read every Harlequin romance novel ever published and has been planning her wedding since she was five. 

Oh heavenly blessed beauty, whose inner beauty is simply divine and everlasting, I would love to be your knight in shining armor. If you want to talk to a good friend, honest, sweet and tender, you can do with me at any moment, I am a good person, kind, loyal and sincere. My friendship that I offer you is clean and transparent. I congratulate to you, because you are very beautiful. your beauty, your charming figure, your pleasant and angelical smile, your personality, your happiness, your charm, your kindness, your beautiful eyes, your lips soft and exquisite, your delicate hands, your precious legs, spectacular and divine body, you have all these qualities and more. You are a wonderful and perfect woman, your gaze is tender and sweet, penetrating my soul. The beauty of a rose has no comparison with the sweetness of your face and the beauty of your heart. I am of the people, I like to have a good relationship with all my friends.


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