Archive of ‘Dating’ category

Calling All “Casanovas”

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Hey guys.

How’s it go­ing? Good, good. Listen, there’s some­thing I want to dis­cuss with you. Apparently, some of you were plan­ning to amass at a down­town mall in Toronto for some­thing called a “$5 EATON CENTER APPROACH MARATHON”. The event has since been can­celled due to out­rage and com­mon sense – yay for hu­man rights! Because re­ally, events like this de­mean us all.

The event ap­par­ently in­volved “beast­ing” which is de­fined as “ap­proach­ing [women] con­tin­u­ously and con­sis­tently - tar­get­ing every ap­proach­able set in the vicin­ity” [ital­ics mine]. It was or­ga­nized by a Meetup​.com group that calls it­self Toronto Pick Up Artists (PUAs). (There’s a hy­phen miss­ing from there, but bad gram­mar is the least of their problems.) A bunch of men were go­ing to con­gre­gate in the Toronto Eaton Centre and ba­si­cally ha­rass women who just want to do their Christmas shop­ping. The Toronto PUAs Meetup​.com page has dis­ap­peared (sad, be­cause it was so stupid-funny to read) but Toronto Life doc­u­mented some of the fool­ish­ness (al­beit in a too-lighthearted way, IMHO, like these guys were some clumsy Pepe le Pews.) Behold:

Since there are so many women in the Eaton Centre you can eas­ily warm up and get your­self into state within 20 min­utes. Eaton Centre is there­fore a great first stop on your day game iternary. [sic] Do a few ap­proaches there and you can move to other venues which may have less women but bet­ter lo­gis­tics (girls who are stationary).

Okay, guys, lis­ten. This is bull­shit. You don’t have to do this. I know that deal­ing with the op­po­site sex can be daunt­ing. It hap­pens to women, too, but on top of that add a dol­lop of in­se­cu­rity and fears that stem from shit we get fed from lady mags, re­li­gion, laws, the en­ter­tain­ment in­dus­try — PRETTY MUCH EVERYWHERE. Slut-shaming, “le­git­i­mate rape”, normal-sized mod­els who are “plus size”, rape cul­ture (oh, it ex­ists I WILL DEBATE YOU FOR HOURS ON THIS DON’T GET ME STARTED), can’t wear pants be­cause thighs rub­bing

So, I get it. The fear of re­jec­tion, of be­ing ridiculed, of feel­ing not at­trac­tive enough — we’ve all been there. For some, self-esteem and con­fi­dence comes with age and life ex­pe­ri­ence. For oth­ers, it re­mains a con­stant strug­gle. Overcoming in­se­cu­rity and de­vel­op­ing con­fi­dence def­i­nitely helps with in­ter­per­sonal re­la­tion­ships. But you don’t get it by join­ing PUAs or fol­low­ing ass­holes like this.

(more…)


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Email From a Guy: And/Or Edition

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This lovely email was sent to a friend of mine on OKStupid. As she put it: Can one be cute and mag­nif­i­cent at the same time? I say, yes, just like this email can be stu­pid and nau­se­at­ing at the same time.

whats up baby,beautification is an un­der­state­ment but the word pretty and cute are the best word to de­scribe an an­gel like you,you are so cute and mag­nif­i­cent to the ex­tent you got my breath away,it will be a great plea­sure to have a chat with you if you dont mind? care for one pretty


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Email From A Guy: Disney Edition

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My friend Jen re­ceived this let­ter from a suitor on OKStupid. (Thanks for sharing!) It’s all I can do to keep the bile down. Is he look­ing for a date or does he want to res­cue a princess?

Gentleman, no woman falls for this shit. Unless she has hun­dreds of stuffed an­i­mals on her bed, has read every Harlequin ro­mance novel ever pub­lished and has been plan­ning her wed­ding since she was five. 

Oh heav­enly blessed beauty, whose in­ner beauty is sim­ply di­vine and ever­last­ing, I would love to be your knight in shin­ing ar­mor. If you want to talk to a good friend, hon­est, sweet and ten­der, you can do with me at any mo­ment, I am a good per­son, kind, loyal and sin­cere. My friend­ship that I of­fer you is clean and trans­par­ent. I con­grat­u­late to you, be­cause you are very beau­ti­ful. your beauty, your charm­ing fig­ure, your pleas­ant and an­gel­i­cal smile, your per­son­al­ity, your hap­pi­ness, your charm, your kind­ness, your beau­ti­ful eyes, your lips soft and ex­quis­ite, your del­i­cate hands, your pre­cious legs, spec­tac­u­lar and di­vine body, you have all these qual­i­ties and more. You are a won­der­ful and per­fect woman, your gaze is ten­der and sweet, pen­e­trat­ing my soul. The beauty of a rose has no com­par­i­son with the sweet­ness of your face and the beauty of your heart. I am of the peo­ple, I like to have a good re­la­tion­ship with all my friends.


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