When We Were Young: Suddenly Last Summer

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Wrapped in your mysterious wonderland
Caught in your superficial non-existent fairy story

Wonderland, XTC

These are my last journal entries from the ninth grade. I hope you enjoyed reading them as much as I did. Stay tuned for September when I post my journal entries from the tenth grade.

June 1/83

I am going to Wonderland! Saturday, me, Angie and Daniela are gonna have fu-u-un! What a yucky day! I can’t finish my religion essay and I don’t know it feels yucky. Well, I’m in study right now, I mean science and we’re talkin’ about the most interesting, mind boggling animal in the world! THE FRUIT FLY! Oooh, big stuff! I am so bored…. Continue tonight.

I am just writing to see how I write with this pen, so if you’ll just excuse me, there! That’s good enough.

June 3/83

Well, do you like my new form of writing? Our dance is on June 10, and ——– said to look good because Jimmy’s gonna be there. And say if Basic’s gonna be there. Confused. That’s what the whole world is today. Did you hear Dr. Demento and Weird Al Yankovich on Chum FM this morning? What a hilarious pair. Tomorrow I’m gonna go to Wonderland! The roller coasters, screaming in the ears, smell of vomit! Doncha just love it? I’m going with Angie + Daniela. But like it’s gonna pour! Oh well, c’est la vie. He’s a gonna check if we-a done da English homework. Do you think I did? Nooooooo! Did you know I had an argument with my rice krispies? Well, I turned around to get my milk when one of them shouted obsenities at me. I didn’t know who it was but I intend to find out! (that’s a joke I heard on the radio). Bye!

June 7/10

Hello Journal. Well it looks like this is the last time (sniff) I’ll be writing in you! But there is the summer and if I meet any new loves, like in summer school, I’ll keep in touch. Boris – ohhh. I went to this Croatian park on Sunday and when lo! what do my eyes behold! A gorgeous hunk-of-a-babe called Boris. He looks like John Stamos. Guess who’s coming to our dance – Jimmy. Remember? Last dance? But say if you-know-who is there. What a mess I’ll have! I’m beginning to behave like ol’ Boogie. Anyway, parked across from us was these gorgeous rockers, well one of them was cute. And were they staring! Well, I got wrap it up. O’Toole’s gonna have a thrombosis if I don’t close up. Bye!


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When We Were Young: My Ever Changing Moods

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Tosses her head ‘n flips her hair
She got a whole bunch of nothin in there

Valley Girl, Frank Zappa

There are references to “Banananose Joe”. That would be the then-principal of our school who would consistently tell us we’d be moving into our brand new building and then push the date. We called him Banananose because his nose kept growing every time he spoke. Not surprisingly, he later became a Liberal MPP.

May 2/83

Don’t look at me, Journal! I got a haircut and it looks ugly! Yuck, phooey, and all that jazz! I failed the typing assignment! Oh well, c’est la vie! Well, there’s nothin’ to write about so I might as well close off. Bye!

May 4/83

Hey Journee! We got a supply today and he moved over of Daniela’s loves of her life – Joe R. Hey, I just noticed something – she isn’t here! She phoned me this morning and said that she woke up late and she probably couldn’t make it – isn’t that just like Boogie! We played against Henry Carr yesterday. We really beat ’em – 11-0 for them! But I didn’t say in the score!

Hey, I think I still like you know who – yah, that’s right E.M. I dunno, like I think I still have a thing for him. Like it’s totally awesome, doncha know? Like gross me out the door! I think I, like, really bombed out on typing, like that Conte is really bitchen when it comes to tests and assignments, totally! I bet the whole school, like, knows about the grody score 11-0, fer sure, totally! They put me in front of this, like, gorilla! fer sure, she was so awesome. Then they tell me, like, to cover her? – like if she fell on me, all her ugly body squishing mine, gag me with a spoon, gross!!! Well, like, there was this totally awesome cute hunk on the bus this morning, like, you should’ve seen him, like, totally terrific! But, like, he looked 23. Well, like I have to close up, so bye!

May 9/83

Ahh! Don’t look at me, I’ve got PINK EYE! Why do they call it pink eye when your eye turns red? What’s wrong with Red Eye? And like a fool, I put [on] eyeliner. Come on call me names. Stupid! Crazy! Anyway, I have to go. Bye!

May 12/83

We are not in the school yet! What a liar Banananose is. He tells us so many dates, I think the school is growing cobwebs. Why am I writing on pink paper? No, not to match my eyes. I don’t have any line paper. Oh, I should’ve stayed home, you’ll never know if suddenly tomorrow, everyone comes in with pink eye. We have a science quiz today – ohhh —-! Did I study – noooo. Boogie forgot to bring me by science notes cause I was away. Soccer practice tonight. You know what the score was last day against Basils? 4-0 (0 is for us). Yah, we didn’t have enough players and I was playing defence – boy did I trip that forward! Then I have this big bruise. Oh well, c’est la vie!

May 16/83

“No, we are not in the school, YET!” as Banananose Joe would say. Oh well! Well, it’s another boring day. On Saturday, Boogie, Angie P—– and I were walking around the Palisades when these hunks on the seventh floor of the big building were whistling at us and telling us to come up! Me and Angie start yelling, “Come on down, if you’re not chicken.” While Boogie was acting in her slutty way, Angie yells out “Come down here and I’ll show you some action you’ll never forget!” Well, then we went to the mall, and then to the lobby of my building and before we went in, they go, “Hey, come up!” and Angie goes, “Get some more hunks and we’ll have an orgy.” Then we decided to call on Marco and act like teasers. So we go in the side of the building and they start yelling out “Seventh floor!” We then call Marco and start walking with him and Angie + I start yelling “We get better action down here!” while I see my father – well, I’ll continue next day. Bye!

May 18/83

Did I say I was gonna continue my story? Oh, yeah, where were we. Oh, so we go into the side of the building and they kept on yelling “Seven!” Angie wanted to go up and I start saying “They’re probably getting ready!” so then we call on Marco to come down. He comes down and we start walkin’ to the rec. Angie starts yelling, “We get better action down here!” They musta thought we were some kinda teasers. Then we start talkin’ at the rec and then we walked Angie home and well that’s it. And I can see those guys off my balcony and they can see me. Guess what – we bet Queen of Piss at soccer = 2-1. First minute we scored. I was a terrific defense which everybody said, and for that, I get a sprained ankle. If we beat Bosco, we go into the playoffs and we don’t have to play Carr. But if we lose, we still get into the playoffs and we play Carr. Bye!

May 26/83

What a yucky day, today, man! First, I came late and now I have a detention! Then, I can’t go to my locker to get my books out and then I still didn’t finish my essay: I have to come after school, and we have a religion test that I completely forgot about, and I have to do my science. And to top it all off – these shoes are killing my feet! Speaking of shoes, I have to go to the Sheridan tonight because I have to buy new shoes. Tomorrow’s the dinner for the soccer team. Yeah we lost against Carr – 7-0. Well, at least we bet Madonna and Queen of Piss and made it to the playoffs! Well, there’s nothing to write – oh yeah – our dance is on June 10th, and R—–‘s sweet sixteen is on the 11th, which nobody’s going to. I gotta go, now. Bye!


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Stay Classy, San Diego

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Ah, San Diego.

Prior to visiting the city, the only things I associated with San Diego were the zoo and Anchorman. But after my (too short) vacation there, I would not hesitate to recommend it as a Nice Place to Visit.

I was pleasantly surprised by the clean streets – Toronto’s a pig sty compared to San Diego – although there was a distinctive lack of waste/recycling receptacles. You wouldn’t even know there’s a jail in the centre of the city (although that explains the plethora of bail bonds services).

I  won’t list everything I saw and did while I was there, but will highlight some of my favourite places and activities.

The San Diego Zoo
During the golden age of Johnny Carson, Joan Embery, the ambassador for the Zoo, was a frequent guest on The Tonight Show. She would always bring a couple of the animals from the zoo with her when she was on the show. As a kid, those made for my favourite episodes.

I loved watching Carson’s reactions to the cute (baby monkeys!), the scary (tarantulas!) and the unpredictable (watch his reaction when a Burmese python gets a little too intimate).

So the Zoo was a must-see for the kid in me. The place is enormous and the exhibits are well-organized, and even with the aid of a map, I got lost twice. The admission price wasn’t cheap ($40) but it was definitely worth it!

(more…)


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When We Were Young: Moments in Love

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There’s a time when every girl learns to use her head
Tears will be saved till they’re better spent
There’s no time for her to be afraid
So instead, she takes care of business
Keeps a cool head
A girl in trouble is a temporary thing

A Girl in Trouble (Is a Temporary Thing), Romeo Void

What happens after a 14-year-old Catholic schoolgirl falls for a boy she meets at a dance? If that girl was me, nothing. I never saw the boy again. I’d love to know what happened to Jimmy, the Fred Astaire to my Ginger Rogers.

April 6/83

Well, it’s the third time O’Toole’s coming to check you and he better give us a good mark. Did you happen to see E.M. today? He shouldn’t have cut his hair. He looks like a fag, but he’s still cute. We had to do a rough draft of our essay. You think I did it? No-o-o-o, but I’m not alone. Me, Mary + Mark are in the same league. Exams tomorrow, Eng. + French – I hate French. Well, I’m bored and there’s nothing to write in you. Bye!

P.S. I got a 70% in history essay!

April 14/83

I just got sent down to the office by Conte – bitch, just because I didn’t have the proper shirt on – ooh! Next time they’ll probably send me down to the state prison where I’ll probably have to wear the blouse all my life – aghh! Then I come to the office and the secretary goes “Where’s your blouse?” and I go, “At home,” and she goes “How come it’s at home,” and I just shrug my shoulders and she asks me where I live and I say “Jane + Finch,” and then she goes, “Oh, that’s not far, you have to go home and change.” Then I started to get worried and she saw me and asks me what’s wrong, and I say nothing and – oh well, to make a long story short, she got soft on me and now I have a detention = 7:45. C’est la vie! Oh – I got these white pants, quite baggy at the top but tight at the bottom with zippers and it came with a black belt with a polka-dot buckle and then a polka-dot top for the dance tomorrow – I’ll tell you all about it when I get home. Bye!

April 18/83

I’m in love! Yes, you can see from the party! Well, there was this gorgeous, I mean gorgeous, guy named Jimmy who looked like he belonged in Duran Duran (me + Joanne jumped when we figured that out). People told me that I looked: good, like Marilyn Monroe, the best, cute, etc. (well, what can I do?) Well there were lots of couples: Frank & Edda, Vince & Mariela, Daniela & Vessio (???) I know, she likes Joe, but I guess she was all mixed up, Lila & Juliano (ha, ha), Danny & Mary, Mark and Irma’s sister, Me + Jimmy (well, kind of). First he asked me to dance and after I was told I was lucky by Daniela, Joanne, Edda (?), Lydia and others. Then we asked each other at the same time (embarrasment, man) and they played three, 3, III! slow songs in a row! and we wouldn’t stop, man! (I mean dancing). He was rubbing my back, pulling me tighter, oh, I gotta stop before I faint! Bye!

Apr. 20/83

Chello! People are telling me that I had Jimmy all night at the dance and they think he likes me, but I hear everybody saying that he likes Irma too. Oh well! Marisa C- knows him and she said that we was in grade 9 and goes to Emery. This isn’t just a crush, man. I got to meet him! Guess what – I’m getting a pair of dyed pants, so is my mother, which reminds me today is her 37th Birthday. Yup, we got her a card, but that’s all she wanted. We have soccer practice tonight in this freezing weather, it’s like playing in the North Pole! Do you wanna know a secret – whoao. Do you promise not to tell – (Lennon + McCartney). Well here it is (my marks)

Exam/Term

His = 70%/71%

Fre=73.9%/71%

Math=78%/72%

Typing= ~/76%?

Eng.=72%/85%

Gym= ~ /79% ???

Religion=73%/80%

Science=67%/56%! – Sad

Bye!

April 26(?)/83

Ooh! My feet are killing me! These stupid shoes are making my blisters worst. There is really not much to write about. Maybe I’ll write in you tomorrow. In the meantime, I’ll take a gander at past entries. Bye.

April 28/83

I’m in TROU-BLE! I was supposedly going to study for my science quiz today in study. But what do the do? They have to change the bloody schedule! Now I can’t even study. I think all of this is a plan, so the teachers can see which ones of us studied and which ones of us didn’t. And then do you think O’Toole would give us some time off of Eng. to study? No-o-o-o! Well, c’est la vie! Anyway, I’m in trouble! I don’t know who to go for! E.M. or Jimmy! Next dance is next month, and say if they’re both there! If I hang around Boogie much longer, I’ll catch all of her problems. And to top all that, I have Pink Eye and I can’t wear eyeliner, and without eyeliner, I look dead! Well, I gotta split. Bye!


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