UPDATE to Son of a Pitch!
The day af­ter the ar­rival of Cardboard Dave, the flesh-and-blood one called me. He sheep­ishly asked me if I re­ceived his pack­age, then stated that he wasn’t ego­tis­ti­cal; the idea was his mar­ket­ing de­part­ments. (Um, you are the VP of Integrated Marketing, so I as­sume you have a say in their cam­paigns?)
In my most pleasant […]